he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
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