I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Randomize
