Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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