This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
