i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
