i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
