He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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