i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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