Already got asked if we're dating
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
Randomize
