i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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