I could make wine with my vomit
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize