Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
