Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
