Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Randomize
