If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Randomize
