i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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