party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
