I'm so fucking centered right now
no, he came in my armpit
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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