Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Randomize
