You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Randomize