i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Randomize
