How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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