Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Welp...herpes.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
