Don't you send me to vm
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
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