I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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