I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Randomize
