Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
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