the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Randomize
