i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
40s are totally the cure
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
