Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Randomize
