Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
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