You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
