I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
