Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
