I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
