hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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