Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
it's like iHOP with fire
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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