3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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