and you said cock pushups were impossible
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
