The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize