Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Randomize
