i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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