All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
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