yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
He kissed a someone with a penis
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
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