I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
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