I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize