It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
