Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
