Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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