That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Randomize
