You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
