i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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