This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I have tasted many bathrooms
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
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