i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Randomize
