Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
he laminated a picture of his dick.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
