..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
