a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
