do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Randomize