ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Randomize